Posted by: Calmseas (Mike) | July 3, 2009

The United States Of Russia (Or “God Bless The TSA”)

It is a common mis-perception that I don’t like airplanes.  I can tolerate flying for the most part.  I love being in the air; I hate the accommodations.  (I’m not generally privileged to fly first-class, and I’m certainly not qualified to fly solo.)

What I absolutely detest is the apparatus surrounding air travel today.  Let me just put it this way: If aliens one day visit planet Earth, and they happen to have the misfortune of landing at an airport, they will look around and see TSA representatives and determine immediately that no intelligent live exists on the planet; they’ll then move on to Mars or someplace.

Calling TSA workers morons would be a kind gesture.  I suppose that you just have to realize that they are nothing more than machines and deal with them that way.  As for me, I’m not taking the indignity of it all.  I will no longer hold my peace when being manhandled by these power-crazed thugs.  That attitude probably won’t earn me a fast-pass through the shoe-and-clear-quart-bag inspection station, but at least I’ll feel better about the situation while they perform their strip search.

I’ve been known to say that I would rather drive three days than put up with the hassles of a three-hour plane trip.  So if you are ever looking for me at the airport, check the basement; I’ll be down there renting a car!

P.S.  When I settle down a bit, I’ll write a humorous—yet critically sarcastic—piece on the episode to which I allude.

P.S.S.  Thank you George W. Bush for bringing the KGB to the homeland!



  1. Whoaaaaaaa… can’t wait to hear the story behind this post.

    PS: I’m sure glad Jamie didn’t take that job with the TSA on Martha’s Vineyard!

    PSS: I’m going to copy/paste your last comment on my desktop so I have it handy to remind you someday.


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